The Friendship Excuse

Harry felt it. So did Sally. That's how they went from "just friends" to man and wife in the last 10 minutes of the movie. But what does it mean when a man says he won't act on his attraction for fear of ruining the friendship? According to Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, authors of the book He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys, it boils down to one thing: He's just not interested, plain and simple. But what do you think? Are there any exceptions? Read this excerpt to get a feel for their argument, then find out what other people are saying about this hot topic:

Q: Dear Greg,
I'm so disappointed. I have this friend that I've known platonically for about ten years. He lives in a different city and recently he was in town for work, so we met for dinner. All of a sudden it felt like we were on a date. He was completely flirting with me. He even said to me, as he was checking me out, "So, what, you're working the whole 'model thing' now?" (That's flirting, right?) We both agreed that we should get together soon. Well, Greg, I'm disappointed because it's been two weeks and he hasn't called me. Can I call him? He might be nervous about turning the friendship into romance. Can't I give him a nudge now? Isn't that what friends are for?

A: Dear Friendly Girl,
Two weeks is two weeks, except when it's ten years and two weeks. That's how long ago he decided whether or not he could date a model or a girl who looks like one. Can you be a pal and give him a nudge? Nudge away, friendster -- but watch how fast that nudge doesn't get a return phone call. And if your dinner/date did feel different to him, it's been two weeks and he's had time to think about it and decide he's just not that into you. Here's the truth: Guys don't mind messing up a friendship if it could lead to sex, whether it be a "f-ck buddy" situation or a meaningful romance. Go find someone that lives in your zip code who will be rocked to the core by your deep conversation and model looks.

Excerpt from He's Just Not That Into You: The No Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys, © 2004 by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. Used with permission from Simon Spotlight Entertainment, an imprint of Simon & Schuster.

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