Photo Credit: Courtesy of Geraldo Rivera/Twitter
Geraldo Rivera has made up our mind: The naked selfie trend has gone too far. On Sunday morning, the 70-year-old Fox News anchor broke the Twitter age barrier when he posted a nude self-portrait of himself in the bathroom. And no, it wasn't a joke. He was totally strutting his stuff.
Granted, he has some stuff to strut. As septugenarians go -- and here's a sentence we thought we'd never type -- Geraldo Rivera has a good beach body. But why did he feel the need to parade it out on Twitter? It's not like he was doing a special news report on nude beaches, or guest-starring in the new Robin Thicke video. He was just getting out of the shower, went, "damn, I look fine!", and decided that everybody on the planet should agree. So he took a photo of himself in the mirror, Kim Kardashian-style, with his naughty bits strategically hidden by a towel on the counter. He's not making a duck face, but he might as well be.
"70 is the new 50 (Erica and family are going to be so pissed...but at my age...)," Rivera wrote in the caption.
We were already a little weary of celebs posting their naked photos on Twitter, and seeing Geraldo's hip bones has officially pushed us over the edge. We don't really want to live in a world where people tweet pictures of their butts when they're bored, or try to prove they're still hip by posting photos of their abs. Celebrities are already rich and famous! They shouldn't need this kind of validation!
Maybe we just need to set up some guidelines. Listen up, celebrities: here are the five times when it is totally okay to post naked photos of yourself.
1. When you're posting from the set of a modeling shoot or TV show, on which you are naked. (See: Chrissy Teigen's charming-but-banned Instagram photo of herself getting spray-tanned on a shoot.)
2. When the photo is funny or deliberately un-sexy.
3. When you're showing off body changes like pregnancy or major weight loss. (Note: You only get one of these. ONE.)
4. When you're posting vacation or beach photos, a la Heidi Klum, who does not appear to own any bikinis with tops.
5. When you're Chris Pratt.
So if you just want to prove to people that you're hot, or feel that you haven't gotten enough attention in the last hour, then sorry, celebs -- you're in violation of the rules.
Fortunately, we no longer have to issue a ticket to Geraldo. The tweet and photo have now been replaced by this:
Note to self: no tweeting after 1am— Geraldo Rivera (@GeraldoRivera) July 21, 2013
In fact, that should probably be Rule No. 6. Hope you're taking notes, Rihanna and Miley!