Get Over Him: Eight Tips for Surviving a Breakup

"I find myself missing him less each day and I find that the days are passing much more quickly. Am I over him? I doubt it, but I'm on the right track." -- jleyritz

Whether you were dating for a few months, in a long-term relationship or married, breaking up is hard to do. The good news is that life does get better. Eventually, you will be able to get out of your robe, lose the boxes of Kleenex and watch reruns of Mad About You without breaking down in tears. Many of our members know exactly how you feel right now. Read their tips on getting over him and getting on with your life.

1. Get it all out
"Cry, scream and feel sorry for yourself. Wallow in self-pity. However, one day while you are wallowing you will suddenly say, 'Hey I don't feel like wallowing anymore today. I feel better.' And the next day you will feel better and each day after that you will feel even better. Soon, something amazing happens, you rediscover your smile and actually laugh at who you were back then. Suddenly you are thankful for what the experience taught you." -- mplus2000

2. Focus on today
Take things one step at a time, one day at a time. If you start looking toward or thinking about next week, next month or next year, you'll feel overwhelmed. Don't look at the broad a picture yet, temporarily limit your view, so to speak." - nategirl

3. Think positively
"If you think you are beaten. You are. If you think you dare not. You don't. Success begins with your own will. It's all in your state of mind. Life's battles are not always won by those who are stronger or faster. Sooner or later the person who wins is the person who thinks he can!" -- gentlesouls

4. Don't Stay Bitter
"Not all women and men are the same. After my divorce, I became extremely bitter and angry. I did not trust anyone, particularly women. I isolated myself from everyone. Hey why not, no contact equals no pain or hurt, right? Let me tell you something, when you isolate yourself, you create an island. But in the end islands sink. Being bitter is normal -- it's simply a stage you are going to go through. But move past it quickly." --larry566

5. Don't Lose Faith in People
"Stick to your guns and try to find joy in every facet of your day and things will get better. It's important not to lose faith in other human beings. Everyone has at least one good quality. Maximize the good and most importantly, be strong!"--seejay89

6. Have No Fear
"Don't let your fears cripple you. Most of the time what we fear never comes to pass. Many times our fears are exaggerated. The more we worry, the bigger and the worse the fear or hurdle seems." -nategirl

7. Do Something New
"Slowly get involved in something new; whether it be a new job, volunteer work, a cool class like photography or kayaking or something along those lines. By keeping busy and focusing on making yourself feel good as an independent being, the healing process will be a healthy process." --cl-nicollej

8. Find some words of wisdom -- and live by them
"A great piece was posted here on the Breaking Up is Hard to Do board a while ago. I kept it, and read it every morning when I sit at my desk. The first line is, 'Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb you.' For me, that has worked! Reading a simple little piece someone posted has made such a great impact on how I view it all. It does get better, and within a couple of weeks, the hurt goes away. " --mbdoe

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