For a long time I hated Mondays, not because they meant that I had to go back to work, but because they brought another nightmare into my life -- football. Whenever Monday evening rolled around, the television transported my boyfriend into another world and left me stranded, as if I'd just been dumped. Tired of waging war over the remote control, I decided to sit down with my man and have him teach me about the great American pastime. And within weeks, everything had changed -- I began to actually enjoy football, my boyfriend thought I was the sexiest fan he'd ever seen, and we spent a lot more time screaming at the referees on screen than at each other.
So if your man just loves his football, instead of trying to find ways to unplug the TV without him noticing, why not learn why he's into the game in the first place? Cuddling up and watching football with someone special can make for great quality time, and you might learn one of the best kept secrets of womanhood: getting heated up over sports can heat things up in other ways.
Numbers to know:
- Length of the football field: 100 yards (not including the end zones)
- Length of the end zones: 10 yards each
- Length of quarters per game: 15 minutes (but they seem to last forever)
- Number of players on the field per team: 11
The object of the game
The primary object of football is to advance the ball into the end zone and score the most points. When a team has possession of the ball and is trying to score a touchdown, they are called the "offense." When a team does not have possession of the ball and is trying to prevent the other team from advancing or scoring points, they are called the "defense."
When your team takes possession of the ball:
Don't say: "Don't they realize that their uniforms clash?"
Do say: "Let's go, offense!" (saying it with a mouth full of nachos earns you extra points)