Give Him a Hand: 7 "Manual Sex" Secrets

Want to be more confident when you, er, take matters into your own hands? These "manual sex" techniques (my editor won't let me say hand job) will make him want to give you a round of applause '- not to mention return the favor.

Pick Your Position

Are you left-handed or right-handed? Which is your "best" side? All too often, women try to deliver the goods in a position that feels uncomfortable or unnatural. You are allowed to move, you know! Simply roll over on top of him or straddle his lap, plant a long, slow, delicious kiss, then climb off to the side that suits you. Don't be scared to deviate from the usual side-by-side position either. Try him standing in front of you while you sit on the edge of a bed or lie on your back while he hovers above you straddling your tummy.

Use the Slippery Stuff

Women have (rather handy) built-in lubrication systems, but men don't. So when they masturbate, they use lubrication such as moisturizing lotion. A dry penis is a sensitive one; it likes gentle stroking. Sliding your hand up and down the shaft '- the standard male masturbation technique '- can feel more like a vicious yank than an erotic escapade when done without lube. Saliva is better than nothing, but clever girls come prepared with good-quality personal lubricant. He'll be pleased, not turned off, when he sees the tube, so don't feel remotely embarrassed squeezing some into your palm. But don't use too much; being too generous removes friction entirely.

Get a Grip

Sexperts worldwide dispense the same advice on this one: Women need to be touched softer and slower; men need to be touched harder and faster. Lots of women make the mistake of being scared of his most prized part. Holding it between finger and thumb like it's made of spun glass isn't sexy '- it makes him think you don't really want to touch it. Instead, take a good, firm hold and move into a well-practiced, self-assured technique.

Practice Until You're a Pro

Simply read up about hand-job techniques, and you're liable to give up before you've even started '- it sounds like reinventing the Rubik's Cube! Try some moves out, however, and you soon realize it's more like connecting the dots. Keen to impress but don't want to look like a twit in front of your new lover? Practice on a prop, such as a curtain rod or a carrot. This is the basic motion you need to master: slide up, circle, slide down the other side. More specifically, grasp your hand firmly around the base of the penis, and slide it upward until it reaches the head. Once you're there, pause '- and rub your palm over the head in small, slow, sexy circles. Next, let your hand drop naturally down the other side of the penis, grasping the shaft until you're back to base camp again, but on the opposite side with your hand facing the opposite way. Do that 10 times, with each motion lasting 10 seconds, then add one quick, firm, up-and-down pump stroke. Repeat that cycle over and over, each time adding an extra up and down. But decrease the number of pumps if he's dangerously close to losing it (and you've got other plans on how to use that erection!).

Employ Backup

If you only use your hands, you risk having to dispense the longest hand job in the entire world due to overstimulation. No matter how deft and clever your handiwork, most men enjoy (often need) extra stimulation to intensify and speed up the process of orgasm. So while one hand is working on his penis, use the other to cradle his testicles or stroke a nipple. Use your tongue on his testicles or nibble his neck, the inside of his thighs and his nipples. Try holding one hand in an L position firmly at the base of his penis, pulling the skin back from the base (in the direction of his pelvis). Not only does it make him look bigger, but it also heightens sensitivity.

Use Props

If you and your guy are adventurous types (and even if you're not!), try using a small, cylindrical vibrator called a wand vibrator in addition to your hands. Hold it on his testicles or perineum (the smooth, hairless bit between his anus and testicles), or use it to play around the opening of his anus. Alternatively, grab a silk scarf or a strand of beads (make sure there aren't any rough edges first), wrap it around your hand or the shaft of his penis and slide it up and down the shaft and over the head.

Give Him the Finger

This one comes with a warning: Inserting a finger into his rectum during a hand job, usually just before orgasm, will either make him love you forever or decide you're completely crazy. How to find out his response ahead of time? Simply ask him if he'd like to try it, or start playing around the rim of his anus and gauge his reaction. If he seems nervous '- and you feel brave '- tell him he could be in for the orgasm of his life. Like the clitoris, the root of the penis extends a few inches into his body. Stimulating the perineum or anus massages the inner section '- but the true pleasure spot lies about three inches in. This is the prostate gland '- nicknamed the male G-spot. To find it (and map its position for future reference), get him to lie on his back as you gently insert your very well lubricated index finger, palm up, about three-quarters of the way in. Aim toward his navel, then curve your finger in a "come here" gesture.

Missed one of Tracey's columns? Read them all here. Check out Tracey's Love Bytes video series here.

WATCH: Love Bytes, Can't Orgasm with Your Partner?

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