Oh, Thanksgiving with Allison Humphrey, how I do love you. Boring Serena and Aaron decide to be monogamous, but there's an asterisk relating to the fact that he's really only dating high school girls because he's trying to stay on the wagon. Instead of being totally creeped out, Serena totally lies and says her party girl days are well in her past. The entire UES makes time to laugh in her face about this at one point or another in the episode, and she does secretly think it's pretty fucking ridiculous herself. Dan spills a portion of the beans about Serena's history, and Aaron realizes he's getting played.
After Bart Bass executes an insanely hilarious knowledge of Eric's boyfriend's doings, Chuck shows him Bart's vault (literal) of intelligence on everyone in the family. Included in the files is the fact that Lily spent some time institutionalized herself, but never told Eric. Not even Bart knows why! Lily's grossed out by the fact that Bart's keeping tabs on their children, and takes Eric to Rufus's place (of course) for Thanksgiving, which causes jealous Bart to delve twice as hard into her mysterious past. Serena gives Aaron her file, but he refuses to read it, and they kiss and whatever.
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