Gossip Girl - The Shyness Of The Criminally Vulgar

What. A. Whirlwind. I know I say this every week, and maybe this week was especially exciting due to seeing it at the movie theatre on the way to meeting my future in-laws, but I'm still pretty positive it was the greatest story in all of television. But then, any episode of anything that starts with Dorota catching Blair givin' herself a little morning glory is guaranteed to be perfection.

Serena, thinking Dan won't find a way to f-up everything, gets him to counsel Blair on the sensitive art of 1) locating your heart and 2) bleeding feelings endlessly from it at all times. Serena does this because she loves Blair and wants Blair to at least admit that she loves Chuck, but forgot the chink in the plan which involves Dan being really helpful for 42 minutes and then fucking it up at the last second. Why is it okay this time? Because he totally does it on purpose in retaliation for B's misuse of Vanessa last week, which makes him a sick bastard and fully under the Machiavellian Gossip Girl spell, which are two things he needed to start being about five miles back.

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