'Gossip Girl' Recap: The Sixteen-Year-Old Virgin

Uncle Jack shows up... And seems like not the obvious bad guy he is for about five seconds, when he scares Elizabeth Fisher into hiding. See, Jack was the only person who actually knew Evelyn, so -- absent the metric tons of microfiche that would clear this up in a second on any other show -- if he's in the same room as Evelyn/Elizabeth, the ruse will suddenly present.

Chuck does a DNA test, and she's really his mother, and because of hilarious teabagger nonsense, hands over the reins of the company... Just long enough for Elizabeth and Jack, being in cahoots of course anyhow, to pull some kind of Rooster and Lily St. James nonsense at which we still haven't quite arrived. My favorite that dog song, "Annie," from their third album, becomes more and more essential each week.

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