Blair spends the entire episode chasing a young crazy girl around the UES, after Serena offers her services as babysitter to corner another Yale connection. Young Emma is determined to lose her eponymous virginity (ew) before her friend Muffy (yeah), and it takes the combined forces of an Aaron-distracted Serena and a chivalrous Chuck to keep her in line. Blair is just mostly a huge bitch to Serena the entire time, but of course ends up making nice when Serena's way proves, once again, to be the smart way of doing things. After Blair spots the girl's mum making out with some dude at 1oak, she has the chance to blackmail her, but chooses instead to let it slide with a short parenting lecture. And, for the first time in UES history, gets what she wanted without destroying anybody: the girl praises her to Dean Berube, and her Yaleward future is locked down.
Agnes and Jenny plan a "guerilla fashion show" at a charity ball, which turns out to be honoring Bart and Lily. Jenny is given pause, thanks to Lily being awesome all the time, but eventually goes through with it. A tacky, retarded idea proves in practice to be the best thing that ever happened, as their "inspired" bullshit -- video screen dÃ©tournement, models kicking over bottles of champagne, riot squad, etc. -- manages to impress everybody at the ball, including Lily herself. Rufus goes completely crazy and tries to have Little J arrested for the stunt, but Lily steps in because it was awesome, and then Rufus cries the tears of a slightly involved, very shitty parent. Jenny runs off through the streets of Brooklyn with only her sewing machine and forty pounds of eyeshadow. Homeless Cinderella Jenny is even cooler than regular Jenny, which is only slightly cooler than the totally awesome, insane Agnes.
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