Kninkles: The One Body Part Gwyneth Paltrow And I Have In Common

The 'Daily Mail' tries to make knee wrinkles the new worry on every woman's list

Doing squats at the gym the other day, my friends and I noticed that our knees make funny faces when we stand up straight. It was pretty amusing. My best friend, who is in her 20s, and doesn't have a wrinkle anywhere, won our little impromptu contest with knees that look like "frown-y monkeys."

Little did we know that our knees were part of an international pandemic known as "kninkles.” Apparently no woman is safe -- not Dame Helen Mirren, not Madonna, not Catherine Zeta-Jones, not even (gasp) Gwyneth Paltrow! This according to some not-so-compelling evidence the Daily Mail lays out in a match-the-celeb-to-her-knees game. 

While there is no cure, the Daily Mail does provide three easy tips for staving off this awful infliction. You can:

1) Not be too skinny. "[Kninkles] tend to afflict people who are very thin — a size 6 and under — without an ounce of fat on their bodies," says plastic surgeon Rajiv Grover in the article. I wonder if there's a way to only gain weight in one's knees?

2) Get radio-frequency treatments. Don’t worry, they start around $3,200 a round!

3) Wear shiny stockings. Not to worry, fashionistas. The Daily Mail insists they are back in fashion thanks to The Duchess of Cambridge.

The British paper goes on and on about what a devasting issue this is only to admit that you actually need a little extra skin so that your knee can bend...and you can walk, sit and do all those wonderfully awesome things your unsightly, wrinkled knees help you to do. 

Basically, we can all thank the Daily Mail, for yet another article that does nothing but make us feel unnecessarily awful about ourselves. First wrinkles in the cleavage, now wrinkles on the knee. Thanks to aggressive marketing and slow news days at the gossip mags, there will never be a lack of body parts for us to worry about. This time, they've discovered one that even Gwyneth and all her yoga, macrobiotic dieting and gooping can’t fix...unless she didn't care so much about walking! Ridiculous.

You know, if Gwyneth has them (which, according to the photo we found, she barely does) then I am fine with having them too. Mine happen to look like Betty Boop and if I flex just so, I can make her wink. And that makes me smile.

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