Photo Credit: Good Housekeeping
After giving birth to her first child, Gwyneth Paltrow says she was "on cloud nine." So she could only expect to feel the same joy after the arrival of her second baby. Unfortunately, the actress was faced with an emotional nightmare instead.
In the February issue of Good Housekeeping, the mom of two opens up about her struggle with postpartum depression following the birth of her son Moses in 2006. "I felt like a zombie. I couldn't access my heart. I couldn't access my emotions. I couldn't connect," says the 38-year-old actress.
The dark feelings came as a shock to Paltrow, who had experienced no emotional distress when Moses' older sister was born in 2004. "It was terrible, it was the exact opposite of what had happened when Apple was born," she says. "I couldn't believe it wasn't the same. I just thought it meant I was a terrible mother and a terrible person."
Luckily Paltrow's husband, Coldplay frontman Chris Martin, was there to help her recognize her condition. "About four months into it, Chris came to me and said, 'Something's wrong. Something's wrong,'" Paltrow says. "I kept saying, 'No, no, I'm fine.' But Chris identified it, and that sort of burst the bubble."
Paltrow admits she was surprised to discover the source of her sadness. "I thought postpartum depression meant you were sobbing every single day and incapable of looking after a child," she says. "But there are different shades of it and depths of it, which is why I think it's so important for women to talk about it. It was a trying time. I felt like a failure."
Luckily, Paltrow has since put her struggle behind her and has moved on with her happy family -- as well as her career. The actress-singer -- who recently flexed her vocal chops during a guest appearance on Glee -- plays a country star in the new film Country Strong, which opens Jan. 7.
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