Dear Halle Berry,
Now you're just hurting my feelings unnecessarily. First you had to go and get that ridiculously gorgeous boyfriend to go along with your ridiculously gorgeous self, then you had the nerve to throw your love in our faces by getting pregnant by him, then you pranced your big, beautifully pregnant belly around, looking even more fabulous than ever, and now, the icing on the cake, you insist on looking this hot just five weeks after giving birth to Nahla.
I'm sorry, but we can no longer be friends.
Jealous of you forever,