Handling Nosy Questions

ON Jan 1, 1999 at 12:00PM

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Dear Ms. Demeanor:

I am a newlywed. It seems that when anyone finds that out, the next thing they want to know is when I am having kids. I am really tired of this question and would like to know how to answer in a tactful manner.

I'm not sure about having kids right now, and neither is my husband. We talk about it, but there are definitely no plans at the moment. Also, his parents make snide comments about kids like, "You're next!" It's really getting on my last nerve, and I need help!

Louise

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Dear Louise:

There are some options. You can try, "I don't know," and leave it at that. If someone presses you, say, "I really didn't know this was up for discussion." Or you can respond, "Why do you ask?"

A softer approach might be something like, "I know you mean well, but it's just something I never discuss."

The trick here is to say whatever you do say as matter-of-factly as possible. That will shut people up. If, however, you sound even slightly apologetic, you're opening a can of worms.

Good luck.

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