If we're going to get anywhere in helping you to reach orgasm, there are two facts you need to accept: First, you can't rely on your guy to bring you to orgasm. You'll almost certainly achieve your first orgasm through masturbation; in fact, I have actually never met a woman who didn't have her first orgasm solo through masturbation. Masturbation is pivotal, not just for having your first orgasm, but for keeping them (and you) coming. Secondly, you have to learn how to orgasm: It's not an automatic process for women. Practice makes perfect. The more you masturbate, the easier orgasm becomes. With those two rules firmly ensconced in your head, let's move on to a practical orgasm action plan.
- Are you sure you know what an orgasm is? Thanks to the media and porn films, where orgasms are "OMG" frantically dramatic, some women picture orgasms to be far more dramatic than they actually are. If you have felt a build up of pressure with contractions at the peak, you might already be having orgasms—just small ones. The good news is, you can increase the intensity of your orgasms by doing Kegel exercises. They'll increase the muscle control that helps build up to higher levels of arousal before letting go.
- Take a look at yourself. His genitals are out there for him to see and admire, yours are hidden. Use a hand mirror and take a good look at your genitals. Find your clitoris. Most sexual sensation starts there so, the more familiar you are with where it is, the more orgasmic you'll become.
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