Having Trouble Reaching Orgasm? Tracey Cox Explains Why

...and how

  • Do you have the right mindset? In order to orgasm, you have to really want it. If you're thinking negative thoughts—I shouldn't be doing this, my body isn't good enough, he doesn't really like me—of course it's not going to happen. The brain is a sex organ: you need to have your head straight before your body can respond.

  • How do you secretly feel about sex? Look at your childhood influences. Most women learn how to orgasm through masturbation. If your parents told you sex was bad, chances are you didn't feel comfortable touching yourself as a teen. If you still find it uncomfortbale to masturbate now, try normalizing it by calling masturbation (and even sex if necessary) by another name. Using a word your brain doesn't instantly associate with "bad" can make it less threatening. Try calling sex "having fun" and masturbating "giving myself a present," for example.

  • Go shopping. To complete the program, you'll also need the right tools. Go online or brave a store downtown to buy a simple, but powerful vibrator (the non-penetrative type that works specifically on the clitoris) and some good quality lubricant (available at any pharmacy). Nervous about sex-toy shopping? Start by browsing my guide of what's what.
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