These are problems with which a hospital social worker can help you cope. Social workers may refer you to agencies that might provide transportation, for example, or help you arrange child care for siblings at home. If friends offer to help, let them know specifically what they can do-- pick up and babysit your older child, give you a ride, or prepare a meal.
The combination of all these stresses is likely to strain your relationship with your partner. Try to make time for each other -- go out for breakfast, see a movie, or just walk around the block together. You need to take good care of yourselves so you can take good care of the babies. If the pressure of the situation becomes too great, ask the hospital social worker about support groups and/or counseling.
Keeping open the lines of communication with doctors and nurses will help you feel connected to the babies. Visit as often as you can. Ask questions and participate in the care as much as is medically feasible. One very important thing mothers can do is pump breast milk and bring it in regularly. Even if babies are unable to nurse, they can get the nutritional benefits of human milk and their mother will be maintaining her milk supply until they can breastfeed.
If you plan to breastfeed at home, nurses can do a lot of teaching, especially if you are a first-time mother who needs to learn various positions for nursing two babies at once, and how to get the babies sucking when their reflexes are weak. However, not all nurses know how to teach mothers of twins. If your twin-related questions are not being answered by hospital staff, you can get specific advice from TWINLINE phone counselors or publications.