He stood me up!
Last night the guy I've been seeing for a while stood me up. He said he would come over at 8pm but never showed. This isn't the first time this has happened. At 9:30, I gave up and left the house. Before leaving, I sent him an email telling him how hurt I felt. I returned home and found no messages on the machine and no email response. I don't think it's too much to ask for a phone call if his plans change. This morning I got a curt response that turned the blame on me. He said I was irrational, that he thought our relationship was stronger than that. This really bothers me, but instead of feeling angry, I feel sad. I want him to apologize, but I also want things back the way they were before this all happened. Any advice? --maggie_e2000
Question:Sherry Amatenstein
Sherry is the author of The Q&A Dating Book and Love Lessons from Bad Breakups. She has taught dating seminars, appeared as an expert... Read more
Dear maggie_e2000:
Maggie, he's the one who should be feeling terrible, not you. He's the one who stood you up yet again, with no excuse and no apology. That he's turning the blame on you is further proof of his lack of consideration and character. Do you really want to be involved with someone who, rather than owning up to his mistakes, has the chutzpah (translation: nerve, balls) to make the person he hurt feel in the wrong?
Yes, he should apologize, but even if he does, do you really want things to go back to the way they were? Do you really want to go back to being at the emotional mercy of someone who is unreliable and rather uncaring? I hope you let his not calling and his attempt to pin the blame on you be your wake-up call as to the kind of person he is -- in my opinion, not the kind of person who deserves to be your boyfriend.
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