He Swore He'd Never Go to a Strip Club -- but He DID!

Dear Sherry,

My boyfriend and I have been together four years. He told me that he would never want to go to see strippers, but recently he got a new job which means being out of town sometimes and he ended up going with the guys from work to a strip club. This hurt me a lot. Should I be angry and not trust him or should I accept this of a guy?



Sherry Amatenstein

Sherry is the author of The Q&A Dating Book and Love Lessons from Bad Breakups. She has taught dating seminars, appeared as an expert... Read more

Dear bmanda1,

Sometimes boys will be boys, and going one time to a strip club with coworkers doesn't sound like a heinous crime for the annals of carnal wrongs men commit against women. Plus, it should count in his favor that he didn't wait to be indicted before he told you about his "crime."

Do you want him to feel like you're his jailer -- hemming him in with your apron strings? Or do you want him to feel that you're someone who loves him, trusts him and can be flexible and understanding on occasion? Aren't there promises you've made to him that you've reneged on -- and have you always admitted your breaches of faith?

As long as he doesn't make strip club going a steady habit (and doesn't touch the merchandise) and treats you with love, honesty and respect, I suggest you tell the guilt-ridden wretch that while you expect him to honor his promises from now on, you'll forgive this one lapse. Then show him a strip tease the likes of which he's never seen, take him to bed and don't call me in the morning.

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