He wants sex too often!
Dear Dr. Patti:
My husband's sex drive is way higher than mine. I was wondering if there's a drug for men that would make his need decrease. I just want sex once or twice a week; he wants it once or twice a day! Thank you.
L
Question:Dear Lori:
If I were to tell you how to dampen his sexual thirst I'd be telling you how to violate your husband's natural state of being. Although in some sex-offender treatment programs hormones are administered to inmates to quell their drive, that is NOT the answer for a marital conflict about uneven desires.
There are two basic remedies to consider: (1) Negotiate with him about how often the two of you can realistically combine in erotic time -- with this option each of you gets to bend; (2) increase your own sexual appetite. One recent national survey indicated that married Americans were spending only about 3.5 times per month in sexual encounters with their spouses.
I suggest that there may be another answer. Find ways to get him to release his sexual tension on his own; perhaps you may want to help him, by lying with him in bed at night and holding him while he self-pleasures. You may want to discuss other ways of finding sexual pleasure or expression, such as a "quickie" now and then. Or watch an erotic movie while he gets himself off. The high level of sexual desire that he has seems to indicate that there may be a "satisfaction gap" occurring with you two. I would like for you to share with each other a discussion about what's satisfying. Tell each other about your fantasies about how sex might be to make it ever hotter when it DOES happen.
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