Heavyweight Sex: Finding the Right Position

Dear Dr. Patti:

My husband and I have both gained weight since our marriage, making intercourse a bit difficult. My husband is normally large and long enough, but the weight is interfering with an enjoyable encounter. What positions are the best for a maximum experience that is not a workout?



Dear G:

For those who have generous amounts of flesh, I suggest some interesting and different sexual positions for intercourse. Most large-size couples find that the best technique involves the "scissors position"; in this one you both lie facing each other, on your sides. Cross your legs over each other's in a scissors-style interlocking of your bodies. Despite the weight of large legs, stomach, abdomen and the inability to otherwise connect the genitals, this often proves to be a helpful way to feel penetrative sex with ease and pleasure.

Depending on your size and where the extra pounds are showing up, you may also want to try the rear-entry position, or "doggy" style. In this way, he can enter you from behind, with you on your knees or lying on your belly on the bed, using a pillow under your abdomen for lift. If his stomach and middle get in the way to prevent entry, then this will not work. I also suggest that you make sure that you open up your sexual channels to the use of toys and other forms of pleasuring. Dildos, vibrators and fantasy materials, such as watching videos to the point of high excitement before attempting penetration, may enhance your experience.

Don't worry about what you are doing right or wrong, and avoid going for the goal of sexual intercourse as your sole source of ecstasy. Enjoy the process of just being bodies together, and play with each other in ways that produce good feelings in mind, body and heart.

One last suggestion: that you both consider a weight-loss program and set your goals for readying yourselves (back) to a state of fitness. A fit mind and body are important for great sex.

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