Help! My husband wants to have group sex (and more)!

ON Jan 1, 1999 at 12:00PM

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Dear Dr. Patti:

My husband and I have very different views on sex. He says he needs more or "different" sex. This includes anal sex and group/swinging sex. I am not at all interested in either, although we have tried the former. It was not a pleasant experience for me, but he keeps pressuring me to try again. These issues continually come up, and I feel constantly under pressure. He says I should be willing to do anything for him, as he would do for me. Help!

L

Question:

Dear L:

It's time to set clear and sustainable boundaries for yourself in this marriage. You are the owner of your body as well as your mind, and you need to decide whether you wish to be a "sexplorer" along with your husband. Your partner is pressuring you to go beyond the edge; it's not just a feeling you are having. Although I want to commend him for his desire to have more and different sexual experiences with you, each of you has the right to set limits about your body and your shared sexual activities - that obviously includes anal sex and certainly swinging!

But certainly watch x-rated videos together, read sex books, and discover ways that are comfortable for both of you to creatively enhance your sex life.

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