A History of Sex: The Origin of the "Dumping"

Excerpted from: A Return to Modesty: Discovering the Lost Virtue


There is very little etiquette surrounding the actual dumping itself, because it either happens or it doesn't, and when it does, that's usually it. I have heard of three cases in which women tried to postpone their dumping. That is, when they heard someone postpone beginning to disentangle himself, they did not urge him to reconsider, but rather, tried to prevail upon him to dump them later. As in: "Okay, but this week is really hard for me since I have this deadline at work. Couldn't you dump me next week instead? I mean, have some consideration!" This doesn't seem to make much sense. The moment you know he wants to dump you, what are you buying yourself another week for?

It's much better to accept your fate and move right on to Turning a Negative Into a Positive. For here is where we can observe one of the clear advantages to living in postmodernity. Although being dumped in postmodernity is just as unpleasant as in premodernity, in postmodernity instead of killing yourself you get to consider it a Learning Experience. As long as you Learn a Lesson from it then you Shouldn't Kill Yourself. As Sharon Thompson puts it, "Even when love goes badly, those brave enough to learn from romantic experience will find they've been well served."

How true. For example, if we did not endure the considerable pains of the dumping, we could never experience the joys of the post-dumping checkup.

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