Regardless of the situation, children often worry about what is going on in their lives, and they often see divorce as something very traumatic. One of the most important things to a child in a divorce situation is their own security. They are not concerned for their parents’ happiness. The younger the child is the more of a one-way street they are traveling.
Children sometime make comments like these:
- What if they both leave me?
- What is it that I did wrong?
- It must have been me who caused the divorce
- Now what's going to happen to me?
Many children react in different ways with the onset of divorce. Some will be extremely sad and may show signs of depression, and even sleeplessness. Children's anxiety levels go up as they feel they are going to be abandoned or rejected by one or even both parents. Some divorce situations may make the child feel loneliness. This can be due to a long absence of one of the parents.
No matter what the case, the child will be affected in some way by a divorce. This change will probably affect them for the rest of their lives. Some children may become psychologically scarred from the experience, and still other children may not be affected emotionally at all. Much of it does depend on how the parents handle the situation. It is better for the child to grow up in an environment that is conflict free. If children are exposed to a family environment that is in constant conflict, the child/children will most likely be more psychologically scarred than if they grew up in a conflict free divorce environment.
Provided by Divorcesource.com
Next Page: Holidays, Birthdays and Step-Families
Uncontrollable Bad Effects
With divorce come some bad effects that cannot be controlled. Many times money, or lack of it, becomes a problem. Child support or financial assistance can make things very difficult for one or both parents.
In some instances one of the parents may have to relocate. This brings with it a new set of problems. Not only do the parents have to work things out, but the children have to adjust to a new school, friends, and environment.
These are just a couple of the unfortunate circumstances that come with a divorce. There is really nothing that anyone can do to change the situation, so the children and parents must stick it out and adjust to the changing environment. The only good thing about the changing environment is that children can often times adapt very well to change. But the children still need the love and support from their parents in order to get through the situation.
The Loss of Family
Family structure is very important and families are very special. Your kin are the people that you age with, and create a very special bond that is completely intimate. These are the people that know you the best. Then divorce happens.
Divorce in the family environment means that the family must restructure itself. Both parents must continue to play an important role in the life of their child. It is generally a good idea that the parents design a well thought out parenting plan in order to keep some predictability in the family structure. This is good for the child's sake. Divorce does not have to mean the end of a family.
It is also good for the children to keep close ties with other relatives they can connect with. Even if you as the parent do not get along with the extended family, you must keep in mind that extended family is good for the children. The children need these people in their lives.
For parents and their children holidays/birthdays can be one of the most difficult things to deal with. Remember that the first birthday, the first Christmas, the first anything spent without a former spouse is the most difficult one to get over. As the years pass, things will get easier for you and your children. The reason for this is that now the children are accustomed to the new routines that they have been a part of. As each year passes, the family will feel more comfortable with the way the family spends these times of celebration.
It is also important to remember that you do not completely lose your former spouse with divorce. They must also be there for the child. With a divorce you may lose your ex-spouse, but you never lose being a parent. You and your ex will always be your children's parents, and it is wrong for any parent to deny the other parent the pleasures of spending holidays and birthdays with their children.
Step-families can be very complicated. The number of children that are involved, and how the children get along with the new step-parent, are very important factors to consider when dealing with a step-family. Also, each person involved in the step-family may have different feelings concerning the way they look at the new family. For example, the new family may feel very different when looking at it from the step-mother's standpoint rather than from the step-child's standpoint.
Despite the fact that step-families are very complex and difficult, it is possible for the new family to become a very strong family unit. Everyone involved must get some time to adjust to the new way the family operates. Each step-family member must also look at things from the standpoint of the other step-family members' point of view. Remember that a new step-family member cannot just jump into a new family and try to take charge. This is a major mistake. The new family must take things very slowly, and each family member must carefully think things out before they act.
Provided by Divorcesource.com
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