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In response to PEOPLE Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive issue (Johnny Depp won top honors, as you may recall), the folks at Moviefone have taken it upon themselves to name the least sexy men alive. (Well, the least sexy men in Hollywood anyway. That creepy guy from your local DMV was not considered.)
Here are their offending Top 10:
10. John C. Reilly
9. Joaquin Phoenix
8. Mickey Rourke
7. Michael Moore
6. Randy Quaid
5. Philip Seymour Hoffman
4. Paul Giamatti
3. Justin Long
2. Kevin Spacey
1. Gary Busey
We're not gonna argue with Gary Busey in the #1 slot, but we have to take issue with some of these guys being labeled the Unsexiest. Justin Long is the obvious sticking-point here; it's not that we don't want to wipe that smirk off his face in the Mac/PC commercials, but if he's good enough for Drew Barrymore, he's good enough for us. A couple of these guys are being labeled categorically unsexy based on their recent facial changes: Joaquin Phoenix, a fine-looking man with a case of the bearded crazies, and boxing-disfigured Mickey Rourke, who was so freakin' hot in Diner that he should get a pass from this kind of list forever. Michael Moore is a cheap shot; he was never exactly trying to be a matinee idol. We don't have strong feelings about Randy Quaid either way, so we'll give that one a pass.
But then, there's the brilliant-character-actor contingent. This is where we have a real problem: although Philip Seymour Hoffman is no Harrison Ford, don't you just kinda want to hug him? He's smart and talented and even though he's not in our dreams, we think he'd probably make a pretty great boyfriend. Ditto guys like Paul Giamatti and John C. Reilly -- they're not heartthrobs, but it's impossible not to like them. And they have charisma to spare, which has got to count for something. (Also: didn't you find Kevin Spacey maybe a little bit attractive in American Beauty? No? Okay then.)
One interesting thing this list does do, however, is expose the Hollywood double standard of pairing schlubby guys with gorgeous women. Take any of these actors, and then take a gander at their list of leading ladies. Hoffman's had Marisa Tomei and Catherine Keener; Giamatti has been paired with Rachel Weisz and Hope Davis. If there was an "Unsexiest Ladies" list, we doubt their leading men would be quite so choice.
Who do you think is the unsexiest man in Hollywood? Chime in below!