Q: I am in a relationship that I love, and it is getting hotter. But I can only see him on his terms, because he's married. We have been seeing each other for a year now, and I am having second thoughts. We email each other all the time, and he lets me know when I can see him. And here's the thing: We are having the best sex I have had in a long time. I want to keep on seeing him, but I'm confused.
A: Leave him -- NOW!!! Sorry, but I had to say that first up. A few facts: The guy is married. You've been having an affair for a year and he still hasn't left. He's not going to leave because right now he has the best of both worlds: the excitement of an affair with you and the security of marriage with his wife.
Stop wasting your time. Do yourself a favor and stop it now. You deserve better than putting up with someone else's leftovers. Of course the sex is good; it always is when it's forbidden.
Sit down by yourself (or with a good friend) and work out why you let yourself become involved with a married guy in the first place. Is it because you're commitment-shy and this is a way of having a relationship but not having to commit? Is it because your self-esteem is low and you're putting up with being second best? Or was it simply a mistake -- you let your barriers down with someone you shouldn't have and got involved even though you knew it probably wouldn't get you anywhere? Whichever it is, only about 1 percent of men in this situation actually do leave their wives and end up with the person they were having an affair with. Please, get out now and get on with your life. You deserve so much better than this. Sorry if I'm harsh, but I truly don't want to see you get even more hurt.
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