Hot Topic: Your Husband or Your Kids?

In a recent article I read in the New York Times called "Modern Love; Truly, Madly, Guiltily," a writer named Ayelet Waldman labels herself a bad mother. She says she isn't "infatuated" with her children in the same way the other mothers she's met in play groups seem to be. While these other mothers appear to live their lives for their children, her life revolves around her husband ‑- in the same way it did before they had their four children. Waldman's theory is that the other mothers' "passion has been refocused" away from their husbands to "an all-consuming maternal desire." Unlike these other mothers who allegedly have no interest at all in having sex, Waldman says she and her husband have fabulous sex on a frequent basis.

She says she doesn't feel smug about this difference, but rather she feels like she stands out as the one mother with out-of-whack priorities. She suggests that there must be something wrong with her. She says, "If a good mother is one who loves her child more than anyone else in the world, I am not a good mother. I am in fact a bad mother. I love my husband more than I love my children."

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