TV Recap: House

House to Cuddy: "Just in case I need them, where exactly will Dr. Foreman be keeping my balls?"

The medical mystery: A man in his late 30s is brought in after being mugged by two kids who were not very good actors and one assumes the children of one of the producers. During the DDX, House sends off his minions to do a test to bring on a Laryngiospasm. (I had to Google that to make sure I spelled it correctly... I was so close) During the treadmill test, that I've always wanted to do, Cut throat Bitch is bumming that Foreman has been added to the equation, the other guy is like "how about you do your job and figure the rest out later." The treadmill guy starts having two new symptoms: stomach pain and numbness in his leg.

Cut Throat Bitch goes to tell the rest of the group about the new symptoms and finds them betting on who is the next to be let go by House. Chase is running the action and it turns out Cut Throat Bitch is in the lead to hear the words "you're fired." (by House, not by Trump)

House gets a page telling him the patient crashed and he’s lying in the hall unconscious. While the newbies run through a series of things they could do, Foreman and House realize that all the symptoms he says he has are the same ones listed on the dry erase board at the nurse's station. Foreman thinks he’s got Munchausen’s syndrome. I know that's not possible because I already saw that House episode two years ago. House has another theory. Mirror syndrome. Where a patient has no memories of his own, mirrors the thoughts and neuroses of everyone else to try and have thoughts of his own.

To test his theory, he takes the patient, who is currently “Martin” into the OR where Wilson is performing surgery. Wilson lectures House about the power play between him and Foreman and Cuddy. He also tells House to let it go and let Foreman help him. Martin starts mirroring Wilson’s psychobabble, adopting his cadence and delivery. It’s then that House sees Martin’s arm and realizes his blood turned to sludge and he needs to be warmed up.

Cutthroat bitch takes some blood and tells Martin that he’s lucky he has her as a doctor. Martin starts mirroring her bitchy attitude and saying she always has to be right. Then Taub runs some tests and Martin starts to mirror him, saying he has a crush on her Cut Throat Bitch. Taub finds a growth on the liver.

Meanwhile House sends Big Love to find his car and maybe some info on who he is. 13 volunteers to go with.

Down in the clinic, there are people everywhere. House tries to recruit his team back, but Cuddy won’t let him because of the great mayo scare. So he tries to run a DDX with all his doctors in different rooms.

Brennan takes out a piece of Martin’s liver and while he does he gets mimicked. Martin says he’s bored being at a hospital. Brennan draws blood, it comes out all dark and black. He goes to House and gives him the results and says he wants to quit. He obviously misses his old life figuring out tropical illnesses. House tells him he’s good and he shouldn’t leave, so he doesn’t (after he spoke to his fiancée and got bitched slapped)

Kutner takes a turn with Martin. He takes spinal fluid to see what diseases Martin’s had, I guess spinal fluid can tell you that, which is something I never knew and I think that’s pretty cool. Sure it’s not as accurate as a real medical history, but cool nevertheless, right? I wonder if my spinal fluid will tell that I have candy – corn- a-tosis. I cannot stop eating candy corn! Martin goes into great detail about how cool it is and so Kutner admits that he needs things to always be changing, and exciting excitement.

Back at the lecture hall, Foreman leads another DDX and House purposefully mimics the way he’s standing. Did anyone else notice that. Genius, because it’s just showing Foreman he is like House whether he likes it or not, so just suck it up and go with it. Too late to look back now.

Cole and 13 return with stuff from Martin’s car. House wants to know why 13 volunteered to go with Cole. House realizes there’s a reason she did that, she didn’t want Martin to mimic her. House takes her into the room, but Martin only mimics House who is totally horny for 13.

Kutner mentions that Martin likes hot tubs. House tells him, no he Kutner likes hot tubs. Kutner says he hates hot tubs. House realizes that when Martin was splashed with hot water, he had an actual thought, of his own.

House dresses up in Martin’s clothes and goes into the room and starts mirroring Martin. He takes some of the receipts and vapor rub they found in the glove box. Martin grabs the vapor rub and immediately shoves it up his nose because everything smells like dung. This is the clue that helps House solve the case. He figures out that Martin drives a truck that carries pig poo and because of pig poo driving he now has a major infection I have no idea how to spell. But that infection is what’s causing all the problems.

At the end of the episode, all the fellows are gathered to learn which one gets fired. Also gathered are all the people who bet in Chase’s pool. House announces that no one is getting fired. Foreman follows him out and wants to know what is up. He figures out that House was in on the bet with Chase and took 50% of the pot.


Foreman: the final piece to House’s old team has finally returned to the hospital. Cuddy brings him in while House is giving a DDX with the newbies and announces that since House’s job interview slash reality TV show killed a patient, Foreman has been hired to be Cuddy’s eyes and ears. Surprisingly House didn’t make a jab about her tits and ass, I guess he was thrown off his game seeing as he doesn’t want Foreman around and she humiliated him in front of his entire group to establish her dominance and limit his power. House tells Foreman he’s going to make him miserable until he quits. He says he already is miserable.

Foreman has the gang doing another DDX, when House enters and tells Foreman to ignore him, since he’s the boss. Foreman tries to get back to work, but House keeps pestering him about how he quit and didn’t want to turn into House. House tells him he’s flattered that he changed in such a few short weeks. Foreman says he already turned into House. He hates being at PPTH, he’d love to quit, but he can’t.

Foreman goes to see Cameron in the ER. She tells him that even though the job is insane and House is insane, he likes it. He just can’t help himself. Cameron tells him he should be miserable, but he’s not.

Foreman goes in and gives Martin a fever to keep his temp up. He starts mimicking Foreman. He’s happy and excited even though things around the hospital don’t run like they’re supposed to.

House tells Foreman he got him a job at another hospital in Boston. Foreman tells him that was nice, but House sees it another way. No one is going to back down, so this way they all win. Foreman tells House he doesn’t want the job in Boston, but is going to keep the one he's got. House tells Foreman he’s miserable, Foreman smiles a little and says “apparently not.”

He’s staying folks. At least he’ll be back in House’s office, now alls we need is Cam and Chase back in.

The Power Play: In order to show Cuddy that he is the alpha dog, House announces to everyone at the cafeteria that the mayo is bad and they all need to head to the clinic. House goes to Wilson for some oncology help. While they hang, Wilson says he’s done some research on mirror syndrome people. Turns out they mimic the person in the room they think is in charge. Wilson says since Martin mimicked him in surgery, that means, Wilson is in charge of their relationship. House dismisses this theory.

House later sends the newbies out to do some tests, but before they can leave, Foreman says he hasn’t signed off of it… the newbies consider this for zero seconds and walk out. Burn! Power Play does not work for Foreman.

Wilson catches Cuddy replacing House’s Vicodin stash with laxatives. Wilson tells her to soothe his ego, make him think he’s won. Cuddy wishes Wilson told her this two hours ago when she obviously switched another stash of House’s as he’s now tied to the toilet.

House exits the bathroom and Cuddy tells him he can’t do the treatment. House says he needs to do it and Cuddy caves immediately. House busts her saying she gave in to sooth his ego. He says the war doesn’t end until Foreman is gone. House: “And I know when my Vicodin isn’t Vicodin. Do you know when your birth control pills aren’t birth control pills.”

After the diagnosis, Foreman suggests that if House wants to learn who really is in charge of the Cuddy/House relationship, they should both go in and talk to Martin (before he’s cured) and he’ll basically tell them. House and Cuddy both go and present their case. Martin starts talking about Cuddy’s luscious boobs and House immediately breaks into a dance for all those waiting outside the room to learn the answer.

House is in charge. But then again Wilson is in charge of House…. So does that mean Wilson is really the one in charge of everyone? I’d like to think so cause I’m loving Wilson something fierce these days.

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