TV Recap: House

Patient of the Week: Irene, she sees dead people. She also has a really bad Russian accent. But seriously, she sees dead people and she's not cute like Haley Joel Osment. Who isn't cute anymore, have you seen him grown up? Yikes.

House calls the lecture hall on the speaker phone like the boss guy in Charlie's Angels. In walks Scooter with a file and he rattles off a bunch of stuff about the patient, Irene, having seizures. While on the phone, Cameron walks in all blonde haired and hands House a mocha frappa fancy drink and flirts with him. He tells her that Foreman got fired over at Mercy. Cameron overhears House being rude to Religious nut, Cole.

Ooooh here comes Cameron/House sub plot... Cameron tells House that just because Cole is a Mormon doesn't mean he couldn't kick House's ass. House thinks he's a pushover and pulls out a Benjamin to bet that Cole cannot kick his ass, phsycially or verbally. Is it me or do they bet in like every single episode of this show? You'd think they could come up with something else to do. Cameron flirts some more, takes the bet and exits while House starts to suck down his mocha frappa fancy drink. I'm thinking very dirty thoughts about that straw his lips are wrapped around...

Cut throat bitch and plastic surgeon put Irene in the MRI and debate who is going to get the job working for House. They both have no idea why Scooter is still around since he doesn’t have a medical license.

Meanwhile Foreman goes around to a bunch of different hospitals trying to get a job. Everyone agrees he has an excellent resume but since he can’t admit to being wrong about making his own call at Mercy last week, he didn’t leave House soon enough and he can’t find a job anywhere.

Cole reports back what he found in Irene’s house but House keeps interrupting him and calling him an idiot. He also continues to mock his religious beliefs. House says he wants the gang to dig up the body of the guy Irene just embalmed at her morgue to do a brain biopsy. Cole says he can’t do that because he has to take care of his son. Cut Throat Bitch tries to get out of digging the body up by offering to do clinic hours for House. She tells Cuddy that if House heard that she were covering his clinic hours, maybe that would get her the job. Cuddy’s all “just do what House wants you to do and if you have a problem with it, quit now, it’s only going to get worse.”

At the cemetery, the gang digs up the body and they’re doing a really professional job seeing as they were science nerds and didn’t excel in P.E. Cut throat bitch tries to get info out of 13. When she won’t give her any cut throat bitch tells her that she knows 13 isn’t really a mystery but is pretending to be one so House will be intrigued, we all know he loves a puzzle.

House’s team wants to give up because the body dig up didn’t solve the case. House tells them to take it from the top and how about they don’t give up since the woman is still dying. His gang heads into Irene’s room where she demands to leave and then starts talking to her mother… that no one else can see.

We’ve got a new symptom.

House is pissed his team missed this symptom. He insists they start doing hereditary tests to figure out what is causing her to see her mom. When 13 goes into her room, Irene mentions that she’s also seeing the guy in the wheelchair who she killed the week before.

Back on the Foreman story, Cuddy meets with Foreman at a secret locale to offer him a job. Foreman says nope, not gonna happen, he left for a reason and that reason hasn’t changed.

Scooter offers an alternative, why don’t they ask the mother how she died. House thinks it’s genius. Scooter offering ways to solve problems is really pissing off plastic surgeon. House goes to see Irene who is now also seeing an old guy named Walter. House says it’s Grandpa House, but pretends to act freaked out and heads to see Wilson.

We are 28 minutes in and we’re just seeing Wilson?! That’s a load of crap. Anyway, House tells Wilson he’s pretending to be freaked out by a patient so the patient will trust him.

It works. The bad Russian accent daughter and bad Russian accent mother have a bad Russian accent conversation and House figures out what killed the mother and what is killing the daughter: Parkinson’s.

Meanwhile in Cameron plotting land, she confronts Cole and tells him he needs to get in House’s face because that’s the only way he’s going to get the job.

Irene starts having nightmares and her arm starts to bleed. This freaks out 13. House gets the gang together for a DDX. Scooter and plastic surgeon go at it. Plastic surgeon is exasperated because Scooter just keeps getting everything right and House listens to him.

Cameron finds House down in the cafeteria. House wants to know why she cares so much about who he hires and fires, so he offers her the job. She says no way. She just believes in Cole. House makes her pay for his lunch.

Meanwhile Foreman gets rejected from another hospital. They should just do a montage of a series of people pulling out a big red REJECTED stamp, that would’ve been funnier and more compelling. I think I know where this is headed. He’s going to go crawling back to Cuddy and beg for the job she offered him earlier in the episode, just you wait.

Irene starts bleeding everywhere. To repair the damage, we see hottie Dr. Chase doing surgery!! Cole is helping out in the surgery and asks for his advice on how to deal with House, Chase tells him he’s going to get fired either way. Chase sees inside Irene and realizes she’s dying from the inside out. I think that was supposed to be a really big statement, but isn’t because aren’t we all dying from the inside out? Think about it.

While Cole is doing a test on Irene she grabs his package. He goes to report that to House when House starts grilling him about Mormonism and Joseph Smith. He’s relentless until Cole snaps and punches him.

At that moment, for some reason, cut throat bitch realizes what’s wrong with Irene. She has Ergot Poisoning which gives you hallucinations and actually is what a lot of women in the Salem Witch trials had. Too bad Dr. House wasn’t around before they were burned at the stake. You get it from moldy bread.

Back in the classroom, House walks in with a bunch of peonies to hand out to the doctors he’ll be keeping. He’s fires Scooter, which makes me sad. I liked Scooter.

Cameron tracks down House and gets her money.

Oh look who it is… Foreman comes in to Cuddy and makes a bunch of demands, which she won’t give him. She realizes he’s been blackballed. This is not a racist comment.

Cuddy: You’re House-lite now, the only one who will hire you is the administrator who hired House-classic.

Foreman is back. The whole gang is back! Sure in all different capacities, but still. Oh and my only complaint is that there was not nearly enough Wilson. Not enough Cuddy either so that’s two complaints. And I didn’t laugh out loud as much.

I give this episode 6 stethoscopes out of 10.

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