How can I get my guy to be more affectionate?

Mr. Answer Man Says: Approval, approval, approval.

And you thought it was going to be hard! Nothing will motivate a guy to reciprocate affection like approval. It's hard to overstate this. Approval is what he wants the most, inside his deepest, little-boy self, and when he gets it -- lots of it -- his hard wiring will have him giving back to you in spades. So, whether you want cuddling, compliments or a night on the town, here are five suggestions to get things started.

1. Come on to him. Guys experience consent as approval; it's why some of us are such hounds. When you come on to him, it's super-approval.

2. Pay compliments. So easy. Let me get you started:

  • Nice pants!
  • You're strong!
  • How come you're such a good kisser?
  • I love your (body part of choice).
  • What a good idea!

You get the point. Don't wait for the right moment. Throw these things at him out of a clear blue sky.

3. Ask his opinion. He'll feel heard, he'll realize you value his point of view, and he'll get to hear the sound of his own voice. All this spells approval for a guy. The bonus is you'll get to learn what's going on inside Mr. Not-Always-So-Talkative's head.

4. Look him in the eyes and smile. At first it'll be more than he can stand and he'll look away. Then he'll look back. You'll still be doing it. By the third time, it'll be all he can do not to drop and give you 20.

5. Stop telling him what to do. All of your hard work will be undone instantly with a single piece of unsolicited advice. Rule of thumb: You can ask him to do something, but leave how he does it to him.

Good luck!

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