How can I have multiple orgasms? Dr. Ruth's advice

My boyfriend and I don't want to have sex until we're married, but we still find many ways to enjoy each other. I'm able to have an orgasm when he touches me with his fingers and when I'm masturbating. But I've noticed that whether I'm masturbating or he's doing it for me, I can only orgasm once, then not again for a long time. After I've climaxed the first time, my clitoris gets really sensitive, and although I want to orgasm again and it feels close, it almost hurts and I just can't seem to do it. I feel really bad because I know my boyfriend wants to please me and feels like he's not doing it well enough. I don't want to fake more orgasms to make him happy, because then I'd feel guilty. Is there something wrong with me? What can I do to have multiple orgasms?


Ruth Westheimer

The original sexpert, Dr. Ruth has given advice for more than 20 years. She's hosted television shows including Sexually Speaking with Dr.... Read more

I don't know what your favorite meal is, but let's pretend it's steak and French fries. So you're at a restaurant, you've just finished a nice juicy steak with lots of fries and you're feeling really full. Then the waiter comes over, puts down another plate of steak and fries in front of you and says, "With the compliments of the chef." It's free! You may be able to stuff down another couple of mouthfuls, but unless you're a 300-pound football player, you would probably gag after the third bite. That's analogous to your situation with orgasms. After you already have a satisfying orgasm, you're not going to be ready for another until you "digest" the first one.
You've probably heard that some women are multiorgasmic. It's true, but there's a difference between them and you. Imagine that when the waiter brought your first order of steak and fries, it was on a tiny little plate and you cleaned it all up in a couple of bites. You wouldn't feel fully satisfied from that, would you? When the waiter brought the next little plate, you'd clean that one up too. Eventually, after a few plates, you might feel satiated, but maybe not.

Watch Video: Will I Ever Have an Orgasm?



Women who are multiorgasmic don't get satiated by their first orgasm, and so they want more. I'm not going to guess who's better off, those women who are fully satisfied after one orgasm or those who need many. The fact remains that you are who you are. If you're satisfied with one orgasm, that's great -- as long as you get that one orgasm. You don't require another one, and if you try to force yourself, it won't be very pleasurable. So stop worrying about this, and tell your boyfriend to stop pressuring you into having more than one orgasm.


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