How to Deal With Meddling Grandparents

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How to Politely Say 'Butt Out' to Meddling, Well-Meaning Grandparents

Sure, they mean well, but sometimes your parents and in-laws can make you scream. Here's how to deal. (17 Photos)

Erika Rasmusson Janes on Dec 14, 2011 at 4:17PM

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a Erika Rasmusson Janes on Dec 15, 2010 at 3:25PM

You love them of course, but sometimes your well-meaning parents and in-laws can create a lot of tension by second-guessing, criticizing or even overriding your parenting choices -- especially during the holidays. (Sound familiar?) How can you keep the upper hand while also keeping the peace? Read on for helpful tips from parenting experts and real moms.

Be Specific
Grandparents can’t be expected to pick up on your subtle, polite hints. So while you may think it’s totally obvious that you never give your son cow’s milk, or that you don’t spank your kids, or that a third candy cane is overkill, you can’t assume that the grandparents will realize this without saying it, says AARP family expert Amy Goyer. Instead, be specific about your wishes, requests and rules. Say, “When this happens, here’s how I’d like you to you deal with it.”