How do we plan a vow renewal ceremony?

Dear Wedding Women:

My wedding was the biggest disaster EVER! Everything that could have, and then some, did go wrong, from delivery of the wrong cake, to the man (scheduled to be) walking me down the aisle dying! Our 10th anniversary is coming up and I want to have a renewal of vows ceremony and a reception the way it should have been. (My dear husband says get over it.) I do not want the big wedding-day thing, just something nice and personal, then a big reception. We never got either, but I figure 10 years in this day and age is worth celebrating. My children are really into the idea of seeing mommy and daddy get married again and want to participate. What's proper and what's not?



Dear Kat:

Congratulations on your upcoming anniversary! That really is something to be proud of and to celebrate. If you can convince your husband to go along with it (tell him it can be his anniversary gift to you), I say go ahead and throw yourselves a party. Renew your vows, wear your gown, and invite all your friends and family to a wonderful reception. It sounds terrific.

There's no right or wrong way to do something like this; whatever feels comfortable to you is what you should do. You can repeat the same vows you recited 10 years ago or come up with something new. I'm sure your children would love to be part of the ceremony. You can wear your gown again, or not. You can dance to the same first dance song, or not. It's really your call. (Although being walked down the aisle and "given away" this time around is a bit much.)

We're sorry your wedding turned out to be such a disaster, but try not to look at this second marriage celebration as merely a way to make up for the first one. Your 10-year anniversary deserves to be a special and wonderful celebration of its own.

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