How Guys Get Confident: iVillage.com

4. Listening skills

Just because you're the one doing all the talking doesn't mean you're the most confident. Shut the hell up and listen for a change. By only opening your mouth to ask open-ended questions, you'll be letting her do most of the talking. Not only does this help conceal your nervousness, it gives the woman you're speaking with something else to focus on — in this case, herself. She'll think you're a great conversationalist if you just let her do all the talking.

And remember: When responding, don't make a congressional speech; keep it short and simple, especially when you first meet someone. The more you open your mouth, the greater your chance of saying something dumb, which in turn will cause you to get nervous, which in turn will lead to a negative state of mind, which in turn will lead to lower confidence, which in turn leads to more nervousness, which in turn leads to more stuttering... Get the snowballing point?

5. Volatility

Just because you're confident today doesn't mean you will be so forever, or even tomorrow for that matter. Similarly, just because you lose your confidence doesn't mean you've lost it for good. It's important to manage your expectations with a realistic outlook. By doing so, you'll make it easier to rebound from harsh situations. We are very social animals; unfortunately, this leads many of us to place great importance on other people's opinions. For this reason, it is very easy to go from super-confident to flat-out depressed based on someone's comments. The secret to surviving criticism and rejection is to expect it and not take it personally when it happens. Remember: You will encounter people who don't like you, and when this happens, I recommend that you don't give a damn about it.

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