How to Retrain Your Lover

Step 3: Acknowledge His Greatness

In the last step, you learned and practiced how to get your man's attention. The goal was to find, feel and expand that "connection zone" in your relationship. Getting your partner to be more aware and attuned to you and your wants and needs is the obvious start on the road to better lovemaking and intimacy bliss. Next: acknowledgment.

This sounds so simple, and it is, but it's also the step most often left out. "Oh, he knows that I love him" or "I'm not going to feed his ego until I get mine" are two common rationales that often stop heartfelt acknowledgment in its tracks. The essence of true acknowledgment is approval. Your lover wants to know that you approve of who he is as a human being. This means his core values, his love for you, his dreams -- and his humanity. By humanity I mean all the parts together, as a whole. He has his high points, and also those areas where he falls short of both his ideals and yours. If he were perfect, you -- and millions of women like you -- wouldn't be needing or reading this Love Lesson. It's your approval that we men crave. We have been known to climb mountains, cross oceans, risk looking foolish and, in short, do whatever it takes to get it and keep feeling it! Make no mistake -- your approval is potent stuff to your man.

The sexual (and other) refinements you want and need from us are much easier to inspire when we know that, overall, you approve. If we feel your approval along with your guidance, we will eventually succeed in better meeting your wants and needs. Now I know some of you are thinking that this just won't be true in your case, but I assure you it will, as long as you are willing to follow the steps I lay down for you in this workshop. Believe it or not, deep down, your man really does want to give you everything you want, no matter how things may seem to the contrary! We just need your approval and guidance to get us there.

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