Increase Your Sex Appeal

Step 2: Take Inventory of Who You Are

Increasing your sex appeal can help you in both your personal and professional lives. It can improve your chances of attracting a partner, inspire a more ardent response from your current mate, help you feel comfortable sexually and make you feel good about yourself. You'll be surprised at how many areas of your life are touched by sex appeal besides the most obvious -- the sexual arena.

Before we work on the packaging (how you appear to the world), let's take a look at the inside by beginning with a self-assessment. Standing in front of the mirror, write down what you see as objectively as possible. Take note of your expression and posture. Then make a list of all the things you like and dislike about yourself. Think about your physical appearance, and also your behavior. Look both at the qualities you have the ability to improve and those that cannot be changed. After all, sex appeal has very much to do with self-acceptance. While you may not be able to change the fact that you are a large-boned person, for example, you must accept your body type to truly increase your sex appeal.

To work toward self-acceptance, find some time -- alone, in a quiet, peaceful place -- to give loving thoughts to the parts of your face and body that you may not like.

It's normal not to like your nose or to want to improve the shape of your legs, but every part of you needs your love. To feel life fully and to be free to experience yourself sexually, it is essential to find the time and space to do this inner work. The most important part of sex appeal comes from what we express from the inside.

To help you begin thinking about the sexually appealing person you want to portray to the world, you may also want to spend some time observing the demeanor of a public figure or character in a movie or TV show. Pick someone who inspires you. If she has a similar temperament, body type or style to yours, all the better. But remember that there is as much diversity in one's personal sex appeal style as in any other personality trait. Use this person as your guide, but don't try to be an exact replica. If you like, choose different qualities from a few people to create the sexually appealing person you want to be and act like. All creative artists have mentors or muses to inspire their work. You can, too!

Here is another exercise to try to help build your sexual confidence. Close your eyes and think back to your early days as a child and remember what it was like before authority figures censored your expression. Were you accepted as who you are or did you feel you had to be someone else? Think of a moment when you felt peaceful and safe to be everything you wanted to be. If you are a spiritual person, think of how God or the creative power of the universe would want you to fully express yourself sexually. Make that image your goal.

Next: Dressed to Be Undressed

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