Now, you're going to learn how to "own your space." This means taking control of
Here are some simple exercises to do that will help you feel more poised and confident at home and out in the world. Start by doing these exercises alone, then do them in front of your partner, a friend, or a family member with whom you feel comfortable. Even your pet will do!
First, walk around your bedroom or living room while moving your arms all around. Reach to the sides, swing them above your head and so on. Let your body take over the entire space; tell yourself that you own the room. The idea is to "occupy the territory," like in the early days of hunters and gatherers. If you're in the mood, put on your favorite music and dance. Try some salsa dancing. Nothing is sexier! If you're feeling especially daring, take off all of your clothes and move around naked. When the space feels completely yours, move on to the next exercise.
This exercise will help you develop more poise and confidence. Naturally, when you feel poised and confident, you also look this way. Stand opposite a full-length mirror, as far away from the mirror as you can get. Relax your body and breathe deeply for a few minutes. Watch your posture and make sure you are standing very straight, with your shoulders down and relaxed and your feet planted firmly. Imagine your upper body being pulled toward the ceiling by invisible strings while your feet and legs are pulled toward the floor.
Walk slowly toward the mirror, pointing your toes with each step and caressing the floor with your feet. Think of yourself as a panther, ballet dancer, a queen or any other empowered person who suits your fantasy. While continuing to watch yourself in the mirror, sit down on a sofa or chair. Do this slowly and gracefully. Magnify all your gestures. It's okay to exaggerate to make sure half of what you do will eventually become part of who you are and how you act in the real world. The goal is to be able to enter a space with the kind of quiet assertiveness that makes others stop and notice you. A woman who enters a room in an assertive yet quiet way, and who uses a low, melodious voice, is more in control of herself and more attractive to others than someone who is loud. (Loudness is often a cover up for insecurity.) A whisper is far more powerful and sexy than a shout.
If you're adventurous, invite your partner or a trusted male friend to sit on a chair wearing a blindfold while you move around the room. Ask him to imagine that his hands are tied to the chair and tell him he cannot talk. The idea is for you to think of him as being confined and of yourself as being free to move around however you wish. Experience the feeling of being in control, of feeling superior. Remember, this is only play. If you would like to take this to the next step, remove your clothes and continue the exercise in the nude. Whether you decide to tell the blindfolded party that you are taking off your clothes is up to you. Just be sure he does not remove his blindfold.
The goal of these exercises is to take the feelings of confidence, control and sexiness you get from doing them out in the real world. Remember how you felt while performing these exercises, then recall that feeling the next time you enter a party, a conference room or your bedroom!
Next: Interact to Attract