Strategy 2: Do something different
If you've been talking a lot about your feelings lately, stop talking about them completely. If you've been holding things in, let your feelings be known. If you've been apologetic and soft-spoken, take a strong stand. If you've been fiery, start being patient. If you've been clingy, start being independent. If you've been ultra-independent, start showing your spouse you need him. In order to make your spouse react differently, you have to do something completely out of the ordinary.
On a piece of paper, list each of your biggest problem patterns. Write down the instances where you find yourself reacting to a recurring problem in the same old way
- Don't be home when your spouse returns.
- Don't ask any question about his whereabouts.
- Instead of being angry, act pleased to see your spouse.
- Make your spouse wonder about you. Be less accessible and predictable.
- Instead of grilling your spouse, seduce him upon arrival.
Now it's your turn. Take out your journal and write down the following sentence, followed by your own ideas.