iVillagers Make the First Move

According to The Rules: Time Tested Secrets for Capturing Mr. Right, it's a fantasy relationship unless a man asks you out (it's rule number 2).

Well, if that's the case, then many of our members are happily living in fantasy relationships -- and marriages, with fantasy kids and fantasy in-laws. Because many of our members took the bull by the horns, or the guy by the tie, or something to that effect, and made the bold and brave first move.

Again, that's a no-no, according to The Rules. A woman should never pursue a man, the authors say. She should instead wait for him to make the first move. Seems a little old-fashioned, doesn't it?

Our members (or at least some of them) are no longer just "waiting" around. Bold, confident and empowered, they are taking chances and making their own tracks on the highway of love. Here's how iVillagers let us know that "rules" were made to be broken:

Be the Pursuer: I met my boyfriend on Georgia Avenue in Washington, D.C. I thought he was kind of fine when I first noticed him at the traffic light. About three lights down, I tried to get his attention. When I got his attention, I made him pull over. We exchanged numbers and have been dating since this past summer. --Yvette

I usually tell people who ask that I met my husband on a street corner. But that's a little bit of a stretch; it was actually in the middle of the intersection waiting for a red light! I was with a friend who was a major flirt, and she noticed his friend (the driver). She also noticed that the passenger (my eventual husband) was trying to get my attention. Needless to say, a higher power took over me, and I ended up chasing him around town in the car till I caught up to him. From that first night, we have never been apart. --Mrs. Crook

Take Risks: A few months ago, I volunteered in a science fair. There I met this really special, exciting man. After about four days, I realized I had to do something. I just couldn't let this opportunity pass me by. I decided to ask him out for a dinner, since everybody needs food in order to survive. I was mentally prepared to be turned down ... I took one long breath and asked, "Would you like to go out and get something to eat, we all need that, don't we?" Imagine my surprise when he not only accepted the suggestion but also offered to cook dinner for us at his house! Well, of course I accepted, and now we are kind of dating ... (blushing). You have to dare to win! --Suss

I met my husband while I was doing a fund-raiser for our area child abuse prevention group. We were having a 27-hour radiothon, and he was the new DJ at the station. Every year we did the fundraiser. It was the only time I saw him for two years, but I listened to his program every year with a big crush. I didn't think he liked me (we are both bad flirters). Then finally we were both at the same birthday party for a friend, and I finally got up the nerve to let him know how I felt. To my surprise, he felt the same way. We started dating and were engaged six months later. --ssp1

Stage a "Chance" Encounter: Yes, I'm guilty of "arranging" a meeting with that special one who caught my eye. He was a repairman, could fix anything you put in front of him. My truck had a setup on it ... to disable the break lights. So I unhooked the brake lights and called him over to find the "bug" in my system. He found it in a matter of seconds (and) was ready to leave. He hadn't even tried to make a pass at me. So I decided to take him out to eat as payment for his services. I changed clothes to go out; I dressed casual yet very sexy. That got his attention! He asked me to go out that very night. --wizard59

There was this older woman who I was friends with, and I was very attracted to her son (who was five and a half years my junior). So in the process of figuring out how to actually get him to spend a little time with me, I thought maybe I should change the locks on the doors to my house, for safety reasons of course. I called my friend and asked her if she thought her son would be able to perform the task of changing the locks for me. Two days later, he came over to do just that. A year later we were engaged. We have now been together for six years. --MD

I used to be a telephone operator for a long-distance carrier. I had very little time to date and mingle with folks, so I decided one night at work that I would meet someone online. The next male voice ended up being my future husband. --Zlisa

My scheme to catch a guy is to purposely stop an elevator with just me and him on it. I would disconnect the wires, and we would be all alone in the dark ... what do you think of that? --Keisha

Do you have a story about finding Mr. Right, or Mr. Wrong? Talk about it on our Finding Mr. Right board.

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