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Here are four words we never thought we'd say: Snooki is now a novelist. The Jersey Shore star, known for grammar-deficient quotes like "Pickles is my thing!", will be publishing her first book in January. Titled A Shore Thing, it will be a work of fiction -- although it sounds like it's based pretty solidly on Snooki's own TV-documented adventures.
"I'm pumped to announce to my fans a project that I've been working on for some time," Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, 22, told the press in a written statement. "This book will have you falling in love at the shore."
Obviously, we underestimated Snooki when we suggested she become a professional spray-tanner or Lindsay Lohan impersonator. She had more highbrow pursuits in mind all along. How will the other cast members compete with the Princess of Poughkeepsie's new sideline as an author? Here are suggestions for how four of her castmates can up their game.
The Situation: Gourmet Chef. The Situation is known around the shore house for whipping up Italian feasts, so why not open up a restaurant or two? If he's smart, the fitness buff could incorporate a sideline as a personal trainer -- meaning clients would pay him to put the pounds on and take them off.
Pauly D: Psychiatrist. Pauly D loves to analyze his fellow cast members: he's called Angelina bipolar, predicted the drama with Ronnie's cheating, and said that Snooki needs to learn to fight (or duck). With just eight years of medical school, he could use that kind of insight to help guidos and guidettes everywhere.
J-WoWW: Artist. Her clothing line is pretty tacky -- but if she can incorporate feathers, rhinestones and lace onto a single halter top, imagine what she could do with watercolors!
Vinny: UN Ambassador. The guy slept with Snooki (the girl everyone loves) and Angelina (the girl everyone hates) in the course of two nights, without having remotely dated either of them. And everyone still liked him in the morning. Doesn't that sound like the kind of guy who can make peace in the Middle East?
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