'Jersey Shore' Recap: BreakUps, HookUps and Self-Esteem Issues

Things heat up, cool down, then heat up some more on the second episode of the MTV reality show.

The episode starts off with the JWOWW-and-Pauly-D aftermath. Pauly D and Ronnie point out to her what she had done the night before (which was make out with Pauly D hard-core), but she has no recollection of it. Pauly D thinks she's fibbing because "she just doesn't want to feel like a trash bag."

Then, JWOWW's boyfriend, Tommy, comes to visit with a bouquet of roses for her. (Sooo sweet!) She decides not to tell him about the make-out session with Pauly D, who thinks Tommy is "kind of a sucker."

Snickers goes to town on a pickle and the boys fixate on it. But I, on the other hand, am fixated on her "Pornstar in Training" trucker cap.

"The Situation" tries to butter up Sammi with compliments, but it doesn't work because she's "experienced [him] already." Oh snap!

Ronnie goes to JWOWW for love advice about the situation. He wants Mike not to ruin the good thing he and Sammi have going because "it's real."

Then, they hit a club called Headliner that looks just like that other club, Karma, and the drama ensues. Vinny decides he wants to have "more of a classy night" so he rocks a tie and vest (and indoor shades too, of course, in true Vinny form). Angelina's boyfriend shows up at the club acting mega weird, so she breaks up with him. Then, we find out he's going through a divorce! (The man is married?! Plot thickens.)

The following morning, "The Situation" makes everyone pancakes as they talk about Angelina's "douchebag boyfriend." She's too distraught and doesn't care to go to work, so Vinny goes in for his shift alone. She has it out with the store manager, he tells the boss, the boss goes to the house, she refuses to talk to him, and she gets canned. So disrespectful, say the other housemates.

Angelina packs things up in, yes, what appears to be giant garbage bags (and I think there was one luggage bag thrown in the mix). She says goodbye to everyone on her way out, but no one cares. Then, we find out nobody really liked her--they even toast to her leaving. Ouch!

JWOWW calls her boyfriend on the duck phone to finally confess about making out with Pauly D at the club. He hangs up and breaks up with her. For Pauly D, "it just means that she'll feel less guilty when she hooks up with me."

Ryder, Snooki's friend, comes to visit. They go out, start grinding up on each other, and a middle-aged man laughs. Back at the house, Mike's low self-esteem gets to him and he opts to hang with Snooki and friend in the hot tub. "She wasn't ugly, she was thin and petite, and I kind of like that," was his reasoning. He tries to make Sammi jealous about the whole thing before anything even goes down, but she could care less.

Things get crazy in the hot tub. "I had a feeling I wanted to make out with somebody, so I just made out with Ryder... all of the guys like that," says Snooki. Mike found it very entertaining. Then, out of nowhere, Snooki starts making out with him! "Mike could be a nice guy. He shows his good side. Then, he shows off his jerk-off side. And, that's what I like--a good guy and a jerk-off. It's the same," (Uhhh, okay?)

Meanwhile, Ronnie and Sammi play miniature golf then come back to the house's guestroom. Ow!

They go to Karma again--JWOWW is in another pair of acid-washed jeans with chains on 'em, mind you. (I guess she has more than one pair.) Ronnie starts dancing (i.e. moving his legs and hips erratically) with some random dudes--he's hypnotized by the beats, what can he do? Sammi can't find him, so she starts talking to her friend (some cop). Then, she turns around, sees Ronnie on the dancefloor with some blond girl! Danger! Danger! Sammi gets peeved and gives her digits to the cop. JWOWW sees that going down and tells Ronnie. Then, in another random moment, you see "The Situation" making out with the blond girl Ronnie was dancing with. Holy mother! Ronnie goes home and JWOWW follows.

Then, Nicole tells Sammi that Ronnie went home with JWOWW, which isn't entirely true. Sammi heads home on fire. End scene.

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