Photo Credit: MTV
During the last episode, we left off with Ronnie going home from the club after finding out Sammi gave her digits to some cop. JWOWW follows him home, Sammi finds out, and she decides she's going to go home to possibly "rough a b**** up."
So, did she? Nah. Instead, she and Ronnie lock themselves in the guestroom to talk, fight, cry, then hug. "You're--like--my best friend," she said. (But wait, didn't they just meet?)
Meanwhile, "The Situation" and Pauly D bring two blondies back to the house who refuse to go in the hot tub. "They were acting kind of stupid," said Pauly D. Then low and behold, give the girls some champagne and they end up in the hot tub (in their undies) after all. "I'm hooking up with my girl, Pauly's hooking up with his girl, and uhhh we're going to have sex. So, you know, that's the situation." (Oh, so "the situation" has a couple of different meanings.)
But "the situation" turns ugly for "The Situation" because one of the girls wants to go home. "Chill out, freckles McGee," he said (but not to her face). The girls go home. Hook-up fail.
The next morning, it seems that Sammi and Ronnie have made up, but she still has reservations about JWOWW, who thinks Sammi has a jealousy issue. JWOWW has bigger problems though. She calls her (ex?)boyfriend, who's upset with her for seeing Pauly D's pierced penis, but he's not having it and hangs up. Ouch!
Enough with the drama (for now)... The boys hit up a barber shop for some much-needed grooming. Ronnie drops a joke (errr, true story): "Mike would bang a Gatorade bottle." It's raining out, and what else are you going to do, right? And oh, they also go to the gym and tanning salon. I just have one question: do the girls groom, work out or tan at all, or is this just a guy thing?
The gang heads to their Saturday spot, Karma, where Snooki hits the dancefloor, doing flips with "her thong hanging out and crotch in the air" (observed Sammi). The boys leave her at the club after finding two so-so girls to take home, and she has no choice but to spend the night on the beach with "Ron" (who we later learn is really named Russ). Apparently Snooki can't figure out where she lives at night, nor can she remember people's real names.
Then, what ends up happening with Mike and Pauly D is so classic...
Pauly D: "'The Situation' and I are looking to see what we can grab, and there are these two girls that he's been working on... "There's nothing else, right?"
Mike: "There's nothing else, so we might as well grab 'em, right?"
Pauly D: "My girl was 'okay,' but he was feeling the other girl."
Then out of nowhere, the boys encounter two other girls in a convertible and, like a reflex, get in their car and take them home instead after the initial girls get pissed and walk away.
But wait--it gets better, the two girls who were pissed and walked away before... They're not pissed anymore (or just have no self-respect), and show up at the house. Mike and Pauly D decide they're better than the bores they already have (because those girls are denying the hot tub, too), and ditch them.
Now, we have the initial two girls back at the house. (Do you follow? I know it's confusing.) So, Mike gets the (significantly) more attractive girl and Pauly D takes "the grenade" (Mike's words, not ours). Pauly D's rant about "the grenade": "My girl was busted, so I'm just trying to go with the flow... and keep my girl entertained or whatever... This blonde chick, she's not even hot and she's complaining that she has to be home... In my head, I'm like, 'then go home.' I didn't even want to deal with her anymore... She's annoying. I couldn't stand her... She starts talking stupid... And, it's a waste of time, and I'm not about to waste my time." (Hysterical.)
Pauly D immediately fled the scene when no one was looking. (Smart move.) Mike takes his girl to his room, but is interrupted by the annoying, complaining, busted friend.
They go out another night for some more fun, but that fun was short-lived by the punch that was heard all over the world before the episode even aired. While the cast was at the bar, a group of guys tackily snagged shots that belonged to Snooki and her entourage. Snooki gets mad and starts yelling at one of them for taking their drinks, and out of nowhere, he punches her right in the face! Boom! Her head thrusts backwards, she falls on the floor, then mayhem! JWOWW starts punching him, he gets taken out of the club by security, then lands himself in a cop car.
Last we heard, the sucker-puncher, who was later identified as Queens gym teacher Brad Ferro was found guilty of assault.