Photo Credit: ABC
When Cash Warren couldn't accompany his pregant wife Jessica Alba to a recent birthing class, the about-to-pop actress was lucky enough to land a willing (though perhaps not able) last-minute partner to help her out: late-night host Jimmy Kimmel.
During an appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live! Tuesday, Alba -- who is nine months pregnant with her second child (first is daughter Honor Marie, 3) -- and Kimmel rolled a pre-recorded video of Jessica bringing the funnyman along to what appeared to be a real session for moms and dads-to-be. The results are simultaneously cringe-worthy and utterly hilarious. Watch below!
As the instructor tries to conduct the class, Kimmel, 43, can't help but interject with questions like, "How are babies made?" When the childbirth instructor tells him, "I think you know," Jimmy replies sullenly, "Sometimes I just like to hear it."
Kimmel also gets some biology lessons, learning that the perineum is the area between the vagina and the anus. Alba, 30, helpfully simplifies this for her befuddled partner as being the area "between the two holes." Kimmel's response: "Yeah, that's a bad neighborhood."
He also has plenty to say when he finds out that the uterus starts out the size of a pear ("My grandfather used to eat a lot of uteruses") but at full-term expands to about the size of a small watermelon ("Can you put a hole in and fill it with vodka?").
Still, it's the vagina that's Kimmel's favorite, as he blurts out the term in attempts to identify lady parts on a cross-section graphic of a woman. "Is that your favorite word?" Alba asks him. "Well, I just knew I'd get it eventually," he explains.
Later, Kimmel volunteers to serve in a mock birth scenario -- as a woman about to give birth, with Alba acting as the expectant father. As she exhorts him to "Breathe" and "Push!" he screams at her, "Why did you do this to me?"
After some pushing, the baby (doll) emerges, and a pleased Kimmel says that he would like to name the baby Pippa Middleton.
Even though Alba's real delivery likely won't be quite so humorous (and we can only assume that Kimmel won't be there to provide the play-by-play), let's hope it goes just as smoothly.