Photo Credit: Bobby Bank/WireImage
Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi has learned just how harsh the law can be. No, she didn't get a jail sentence for her three criminal charges -- but she did have to sit silently while a judge chastised her childish behavior, even insulting her with a comparison to Lindsay Lohan.
The 22-year-old Jersey Shore star arrived at a New Jersey courtroom Wednesday (more than an hour late, naturally) to face charges of public intoxication, disorderly conduct and creating a public nuisance. The charges were incurred on a day of extreme public drunkenness at Seaside Heights, N.J., in July, when Snooki was arrested and placed in a drunk tank until castmate Jenni "JWOWW" Farley bailed her out. Although Polizzi initially pleaded not guilty, her attorney decided to admit wrongdoing on the day of the hearing. Ironically, her lawyer painted her drunken bad behavior as a one-time incident, saying it was "an anomaly in an otherwise well-lived life." (We know a few million viewers who would beg to differ!) The judge wasn't buying it, and although he let Snooki off with a $500 fine and community service, he also gave her a severe talking-to.
Judge Damian Murray accused Snooki of "acting like a Lindsay Lohan wannabe" for her hard-partying behavior. He wondered whether her actions were "scripted" by Jersey Shore producers and accused her of "trading (her) dignity for a paycheck." And he gave her some blunt advice: "Going through life rude, profane, obnoxious and self-indulgent is not the way you want to go through life."
But if Snooki stopped being rude, profane, obnoxious and self-indulgent, what would become of her? She'd have to leave reality TV for a new life. Maybe she could become a stylist, giving hair-lifts and rhinestones to the other wannabe celebrities of the world. Or the former cheerleader could become an unorthodox fitness guru (we would totally buy her workout tape). Then again, Snooki doesn't seem to have much of a work ethic; maybe she could take her Princess of Poughkeepsie title to the next level and marry an actual prince.
For now, we stand by our recommendation of etiquette classes for Snooki. And as for the rest of the Jersey Shore cast -- any chance we can get them in front of the same judge?
Do you think Snooki needs to clean up her act? Chime in below!