Just the Three of Us: Me, You and Porn

I asked some of the men I work with what they like about the women in Internet porn. What I learned is that while 66 percent of men may look at Internet porn once a month, 100 percent of men I work with don't really want to answer my questions about it. I talked to five different guys, telling them that I was writing this column on porn, and all five of them said they'd rather not be interviewed, even anonymously.

Finally, one man that I work with agreed to talk, if reluctantly. Tom, who is married and in his 40s, found my questions both stupid and downright insulting. When I first asked Tom what he liked about the women in the porn he looked at on the Internet, he thought I was joking. "Isn't it obvious?" he asked. I told him women think the reason men like the women in porn is because they live up to impossible standards of beauty that normal women can't live up to. He said that wasn't it at all. Tom, who I would define as a normal, nice guy who really loves his wife (she's lovely but doesn't look like a porn star, incidentally) explained, "Men like the women in porn because... they're in porn. It helps if they are good looking, but it's the fact that they're naked and having sex that makes them appealing. Men like women who want to have sex."

I asked him if he found the women in porn "crazy" and if that was part of their appeal. He seemed genuinely puzzled, then answered, "I never thought about their mental state. I don't care about their personalities or neuroses. I just like that they are uncomplicated and interested in sex. If I started to think about their personalities, that would ruin it."


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