Just the Three of Us: Me, You and Porn

The Wife vs. The Porn Star: Who Wins?

I asked him if he ever wished that his wife looked like a porn star, a question that earned me a genuine blush. "Not really," Tom finally stammered, "but if I'm going to be dead honest, there are nights, especially when she's had a long day and isn't particularly psyched up for sex, that I wish she would act like one. But I realize that no one is like that all the time. That, right there, is the fantasy. A woman who is interested in sex 100 percent of the time, a girl who just can't say no, ya know?"

In theory, I guess I do know what he meant, though I have to say that I don't know that girl in real life either. I've never met a woman who is interested in sex at any hour of the day or night, nor do I know anyone who has never turned down the man with whom she's involved for one reason or another. To be fair, though, most of the women I know have also been turned down for sex a time or two.

With that said, my advice on the topic is pretty simple. If you have an active, satisfying love life with your partner, you shouldn't be threatened by his occasional interest in Internet porn. If you are one of the 13 percent of women who enjoys Internet porn, maybe it's something you can share together, although I'm guessing that you're probably not looking at the same Websites. If what experts (and the one guy at work who would talk to me about it) are saying is true, it isn't the perfection of the porn stars' bodies that intrigues your man. It's the fantasy that these women want to have sex. With him.

Here's the good news. You can always be better than that fantasy woman that he imagines wants to have sex with him. And that's by being the actual woman who wants to have sex with him. Don't feel like you can't live up to those airbrushed images of perfection because apparently that's not what he wants.

He wants sex. With you. My advice is to go ahead and have some!

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