Keep your relationship fresh and fun

I am in my third month of dating a wonderful guy. So far, things are great, but I'm worried that our relationship will grow stale. I am always available to go out and be with him, but I'm starting to think that I should be a bit more "busy," if you know what I mean. I don't want to be taken for granted. How do I keep things fresh? --Rikkey

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Sherry Amatenstein

Sherry is the author of The Q&A Dating Book and Love Lessons from Bad Breakups. She has taught dating seminars, appeared as an expert... Read more

Dear Rikkey:

This is a great question. Only three months in -- the honeymoon phase -- and you're already thinking about how to keep things fresh and fun way down the road.

To address the first part of your question, I say don't indulge in game playing. Continue seeing him on a regular basis. However, if you don't let the rest of your life lag because you're in "a relationship," then you won't always be available when he calls. You'll be out enjoying yourself with friends, working hard at your job, enjoying your hobbies and so on. You get the point, I'm sure.

To address the truly pivotal part of your question, the way not to let things go stale is to keep in mind that no matter how well the two of you get to know each other, you will never truly plumb the other's depths. Human beings are mysterious, fascinating creatures. Couples run into trouble when each looks at his or her other half and thinks, "That's all she wrote. I know this person completely." That's when they take each other for granted, stop making an effort to have deep conversations or to try new, exciting activities alone and together.

My best advice: Maintain a sense of wonder about your partner and you will always have wonder in your relationship.

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