Excerpted from Hot Relationships: How to Know What You Want, Get What You Want, and Keep It Red Hot!
"Happiness isn't a destination; it's a means of traveling."
This old saying can be applied to foreplay. Rush through the "traveling" and you might find the destination isn't quite as exciting as you'd expected. Lavish attention on the whole body and you can't help but take your time.
Erogenous zones are areas on our bodies that create intense sexual arousal when stimulated. Apart from the obvious bits that we all share (like the penis and the clitoris), each of us has our own secret area that sends frantic YES! YES! messages to all the right places. For some, it's being bitten in the small of their neck. Others go crazy when someone strokes their buttocks. But what works for one lover won't necessarily work on the next, so consider each new lover unexplored territory. There are few places on our bodies that we don't like being touched. Why restrict foreplay to the breasts and genitals when the entire body is itching for attention?
- Take a body tour. When you get to a new city, you often take an orientation tour to get your bearings, right? Then what's stopping you doing the same with your new lover's body? You can go all out and even use a few props. Make him lie down naked on his stomach and close his eyes -- make sure the room you're in is private and warm -- then trail a scarf slowly and tantalizingly across his naked bottom and back. Then turn him over and stroke a feather around his penis and scrotum. You can then move on to using your hands, hair, breasts and mouth on his nipples and genital area, creating different sensations as you search for his ultimate pleasure zones.
- Massage his feet, kiss his toes, massage his hands, then take each finger into your mouth and suck it, pretending it's his penis.
- Bottoms up! Both your bottoms are an arousable area. Try massaging them, stroking, even gentle slapping. Don't neglect the perineum (the bit between your genitals and your anus). Press firmly and massage with two fingers, gently stroking along the entire length; use your tongue to do the same.
- Use your fingers to rub along the outline of his lips, then insert a finger into his mouth for him to suck. Do the same with your nipples. He can do the same with his penis. Get into neck nibbling. Do you know anyone who doesn't enjoy having their neck kissed or gently nibbled? (If you do, they're either incredibly ticklish, or totally uptight.) It's a sadly ignored area that can produce amazing results.
- Kiss all over his body, not just on his mouth and genitals. Use your whole body to massage his.
- Use your whole body to massage his. Lie on top of him when he's lying on his back or front, gyrate slowly and revel in the simple sensation of skin against skin.