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For several weeks last spring, the tabloids picked on Kim Kardashian for gaining weight. (Apparently, that's no longer supposed to happen in pregnancy.)
Fast-forward to today -- five weeks since she gave birth to baby North West -- and the news that Kardashian is planning a big, public reveal of her newly slimmed down body. She'll do it on her mother's talk show, Kris.
"She wants to show up like Heidi Klum and have everyone marvel at how fast she lost the weight," a source told Us Weekly. "She won't leave the house until she's thinner."
In other words, she's literally been hiding in mom's mansion, a prisoner of her own fame and the public's expectations. A few days ago, she did venture out, quietly, in her assistant's car. But despite her attempts to keep a low profile, Radar Online was able to find "onlookers" who spotted her.
“Kim looks amazing, she really does," the witness told the site. "She’s dropped a lot of the baby weight already ... not to say she still doesn’t have a ways to go, but she looked slim and was glowing. ... She’s dropped quite a bit of the baby weight and it shows.”
Even before this low-profile outing, Us Weekly was monitoring her weight-loss progress.
So. This is the point in the article where we point out how intimidating this information can sound to non-famous moms without personal trainers and full-time nannies. Cue up the same old story: Celebs must drop the baby weight ASAP.
Recently, though, a new element has been added to this narrative: Nowadays, celebrities are slimming down as quickly as possible as a "So there!" gesture to an increasingly antagonistic tabloid culture. In this case, gossip columnists relished the chance to snicker when Kardashian lost control over her formerly perfect body. And Kardashian is jonesing to show them she's gotten it back. When she strides on stage with her newly banging body, she'll be flipping her critics the metaphorical bird.
Sadly, everyone loses in this scenario. Kardashian and every other new mom have other, more important issues to concern themselves with after giving birth. Like being a good mom.
Jennifer Graham Kizer is an Atlanta-based writer who covers pop culture and watches too much TV. Luckily, iVillage gives her an excuse to watch even more. Follow her on Google+.