Think It Through
"When my hubby and I fight, we never go to bed angry. We always try to reach common ground or take time out and think out the problem. That is just one of the special things I love about our marriage." --iVillager Rachel
"When my husband and I do get into a fight, it's usually for a pretty good reason, although, admittedly, our discussion about him getting a glass of milk and leaving the carton out all night got pretty heated. Some of us like to have cereal in the morning! After we each have presented our case, I leave the room. I sit down somewhere and go over in my head the things that were said. I keep asking myself, 'Was I fair? Was he fair? Is this really worth arguing over? How important is this to me? How important is this to him?' After I've asked these questions, I can identify and disregard the petty stuff and focus on the real problem. I go to him and tell him that we need to talk. I explain that I want to talk, not yell, and then I tell him how I feel. I also work out something we can both do to correct and avoid this problem in the future. Then I kiss him on his forehead, tell him I love him and end the evening by ravishing him on the coffee table!" --iVillager Xris
How do you make up after a fight? Talk about it with your fellow iVillagers in the Problem Solving for Couples message board.