KISSyour way toBETTER SEX

Week 1: Improve His Technique

For most of us, women and men alike, there was that one person who kissed us like no other. Some of us are lucky enough to still be with that person. For others, that person's kissing skill may have been his best attribute, and while our current partners have many other skills, kissing is not at the top of the list.

No need to merely daydream about those past great kisses -- you are about to be handed the keys to the kissing kingdom. Follow this four-week workshop and you will be armed with the information you need to create motor-revving kisses at your will.

Critically important is the way in which you approach making suggestions to your partner.

This week, I will share with you from my international seminars and books the best ways to show your partner how you love to be kissed - to guide him to better kissing. Given that kissing is one of the more important parts of lovemaking, it should be something we all do well.

Critically important is the way in which you approach making suggestions to your partner. Always make a point of saying what works, not what doesn't. Do not tell him he doesn't kiss well or doesn't "do it" for you unless, of course, you don't want to see him again.

Know that people will often touch (and kiss) the way they like to be touched. As men are stronger and have thicker skin than women, they often touch to the pressure they know and like, which can be too much, especially initially, for women. Also, because men's mouths and tongues are larger, they may be too forceful in the moment of passion. Yet men are aware how easily a woman can go from 60 to 0 on the desire meter as a result of overly forceful or careless kissing. And there is nothing they want to avoid more than something that will interrupt lovemaking.

Next page: The secret to (finally) being kissed the way you want to be kissed.

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How can you be kissed the way you want to be kissed? Follow these exercises -- and enjoy the results!

1. Take control:
You and your partner are kissing. You gently start to take control by placing your hands on either side of his face, holding his cheeks and guiding his lips. In doing so, you are in control of the amount of pressure and motion of his mouth and, in turn, he feels the warmth of your hands. This can be especially good if your partner's mouth is too loose or open for you. Then it is your responsibility to kiss him as you LOVE TO BE KISSED.

2. Get him to follow your lead:
Stop when you want and tell your partner, "I just love kissing. It's the one thing that gets me ______________ [fill in the blank; for example, you might add the word "hot" or "turned on" or "wet"]. Then look at him and say, "Will you show me what it feels like to be kissed by me?"

3. Introduce a fantasy:
Tell him that you had a dream the other night about how he was kissing you -- and it was fabulous. Whether or not you actually had this dream, what you need to do is have an idea about what you want to ask for. So think ahead to how you want to blend the new kissing style or technique you want with what he already does. That way, you're not asking for a completely different thing and won't risk offending his ego. If you can't manage to explain what you want fully using your dream, tell him, "You did something like this " and then show him what you want.

4. Praise your partner:
Let your partner know when he has kissed you right. If he does something you really like, repeat it on him and ask if it feels as good to him as it did to you. To tweak his style, it's important that you use one-word directions, such as "lighter," "left," "right," etc. Men have shared with me that sentence-long guidance feels like criticism, while one-word comments sound like gentle direction. Remember that while you may feel that the more you tell, the better, he will be hearing your words through his own sexual gender filter.

5. Repeat:
Don't assume that one time through will work. Men often need reminding (yes, even when it comes to better kissing and better sex). Repeat exercises 1-4 as often as necessary. And enjoy!

Learn with your peers! Read other women's steamy secrets on the Let's Talk about Sex message board.

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